Confirmation

March 18, 2010

I hate it when my kids ask me why they had to go through Confirmation classes when we don’t go to church on a regular basis. I never have a good answer. Here’s what I think:

Even before we got married, Michael and I regularly went to church. We didn’t really like the way our pastor preached at the time we were married. He was a loud, fire & brimstone kind of preacher, who insisted we all call him DR. Carter, not Pastor Carter. He was full of self-importance and ego, and we stopped going after awhile. Our Assistant Pastor at the time was Tim, and I used to debate things with him sometimes. I enjoyed sparring over religious topics with Tim; he wasn’t judgmental, just knowledgeable and understanding of worldly vs. Godly. We often agreed to disagree, and I’m sure he prayed over me when I wasn’t looking.

When Carter was finally reassigned, Pastor Mel came to our church. He was a compassionate, faithful man, with a wonderful wife and family. He smiled a lot. He believed in God, the Bible, Jesus Christ, and that a joyful faith was the best way to honor the Lord. He was a very “half-glass full” kind of optimist, who led us to believe that none of us are worthy to stand before God, but that we all receive the same opportunity for forgiveness and redemption to enter into heaven after we die. Mel was our pastor during the 90’s, just as political correctness -- before homosexuality became an “issue” instead of an unspoken lifestyle. Everyone was welcome in God’s house. Don’t ask, don’t tell. During this time, I not only helped with crafts at summer VBS for several years, but I also taught a Sunday school class to preschoolers. I was very involved with our church, and so was Michael.

Mel retired, and the United Methodist board assigned Pastor Tom to our church. Return of the fire & brimstone. Laying on of hands. Speaking in tongues. Evangelical raising of hands and swaying of bodies. Not my style. Thankfully, that was about the time a bunch of musicians decided to introduce the 9:30 worship service, which was singing, singing, and more singing, all to contemporary Christian songs. So our children went to Sunday school (and I joined a Sunday school class) while Michael enjoyed a relatively accusatory-free service.

As the children grew older, they no longer wanted to go to Sunday school. We were camping more, and away on summer weekends. Little by little, we gradually just sort of got out of the habit of regularly going to church.

We have never stopped going altogether, and when Clara decided she wanted to be an acolyte, and join the youth choir, we again made it to church more than once a month. The Methodist Church has become more and more judgmental over the past few years, and we have begun to feel a disconnect with what we hear coming from the pulpit and what we feel in our hearts. The last straw for Michael was the sermon declaring that those who alter their bodies with tattoos and piercings are sinners and unworthy to stand before God. Yep. Guess I’m going to hell.

Between that sermon, and the fact that most of our Harley Davidson bike rides are on Sunday mornings, going to church has become less and less of a priority for us. The one thing that remains constant is the church; pastors come and go. Eventually, we will be assigned a new pastor, the political climate will change, and the cycle will turn again.

So here is the answer to my teenagers’ question: Why did they have to take Confirmation classes? Michael and I tried to give our children a good foundation in the church. It was important to me to have Jake & Clara to go through the Confirmation class, and that they join the church. Once they hit 13, it just seemed to me that they were able to decide for themselves whether or not they wanted to continue their journey in faith. Even if they decided not to pursue a religious education right now, they have a foundation, and they belong to a church family. They can take communion. They can walk into any Methodist church and know why we do the rituals and how to partake in them. They can ask pertinent questions, and they can begin to discern good interpretation from bad. That is my answer.

Jake has no desire to go to church; Clara, on the other hand, enjoys the fellowship she has with her Bible Study group, Fuzzie Slippers. Michael and I still go occasionally, and so do the kids sometimes. but it is still not a priority. Frankly, it is a confusing time for all of us. I was in the choir for a little while last year, Clara sang on Christmas Eve, and we would both like to sing at future services. But we honestly do not enjoy the sermons, especially since we get to hear about how we’re going to hell every week. There has definitely been a shift in our faith….but that’s a blog for another day.

d.