I am sitting here on this June day, perched on the brink of what promises to be a long, long summer. Recital is on June 26 & 27, and then I have nothing on the calendar until summer dance camp. No job, no classes, no anything. For me, that is never, ever a good thing. I am only content when I am busy. I need to make a plan.
Michael seems very happy with his Union work right now. Of course, neighbors and friends continue to keep him busy with installing outlets and light fixtures, but he still has left plenty of free time to work in the yard and ride the Harley. His back is still ailing him, but at least he now has medication to help with the pain. He wants to start back at karate in July; I don't know if it will help or hurt, but if it makes him happy, then more power to him!
Clara has been as busy as a one-armed paper hanger. She has been studying like she is taking finals for her master's degree...her finals for eighth grade have been intense. She has moved on to the next book in her keyboarding lessons, and we hope that she will be able to continue taking voice and piano through the summer time. Her teacher, Miss Eynon, gets married on the 26th of June, and we have been invited to the church. The only glitch with the lessons at the moment is that yesterday, Miss E mentioned that when Clara sings, she sounds a little bit "nasally." Just like her mama. It upset Clara a lot. It is "curable", and I hope she doesn't become discouraged. She has such a pretty voice. She has not been as dedicated to dance as I would like, but she knows the dances. I can't worry about it. I'm not the one on stage.
Jake is obsessed with his girlfriend, Caitlyn. He eats, breathes, sleeps Caitlyn. He is texting her, talking on the phone with her, or Skype-ing her almost every waking moment of the day. When he isn't talking to her, he sits in his room, or sleeps. He has zero ambition, which I suppose is normal for a 16-year-old boy. What worries me is that his down time is oppressive. What I mean is, if you walk into his room when he isn't talking to Caitlyn, he is withdrawn, depressed, and you can detect an atmosphere that I can only describe as hopeless. He has no friends to speak of, and no hobbies, no job, and getting him to take care of chores around the house is difficult, at best. He doesn't even join us in the family room to watch tv anymore. It is like he has made a full time career out of isolating himself from everyone, except Caitlyn. I worry because it appears that he has become even more "needy" for her attention. Although he has been getting some help for the depression, I would like to see more improvement. I would like him to be truly happy again. I don't really see that anymore. Trouble is, he doesn't like to take the meds because he doesn't think they will help, and he doesn't want to depend on them. I wish I could make him understand that we're trying to help him, not hurt him.
I am still seeing a counselor and taking meds myself, and some days are great; some days it's all I can do to get out of bed and face humanity. I have been trying to focus on the things I am good at, and that I enjoy...writing, teaching dance, cooking...but it is clear that I will need to get a job soon. Found out yesterday that they broke ground on the Sun Center movie studio in Chester. I would love, love, love to get a job there, even if only secretarial. Close to home, too. I threw out my back over a month ago, and I am still limping around like an old lady, so that isn't helping my outlook, either. But that, too, is curable. I have been spending my inside days cleaning up clutter and being with the dog, but even she is feeling a bit ill these days. Not sure what is wrong with her, but something is definitely wrong. I hope she gets well soon. Poor thing.
Recital weekend will be here soon, and I will be running at full tilt for a few days. Those are the days when I don't have time to think, and I fall into bed exhausted. The good stuff. I am surrounded by a bunch of great people and it's fun, and exciting, and busy. I only hope I can get through it without any major catastrophes (meaning, feeling guilty about something I said or did).
Michael seems very happy with his Union work right now. Of course, neighbors and friends continue to keep him busy with installing outlets and light fixtures, but he still has left plenty of free time to work in the yard and ride the Harley. His back is still ailing him, but at least he now has medication to help with the pain. He wants to start back at karate in July; I don't know if it will help or hurt, but if it makes him happy, then more power to him!
Clara has been as busy as a one-armed paper hanger. She has been studying like she is taking finals for her master's degree...her finals for eighth grade have been intense. She has moved on to the next book in her keyboarding lessons, and we hope that she will be able to continue taking voice and piano through the summer time. Her teacher, Miss Eynon, gets married on the 26th of June, and we have been invited to the church. The only glitch with the lessons at the moment is that yesterday, Miss E mentioned that when Clara sings, she sounds a little bit "nasally." Just like her mama. It upset Clara a lot. It is "curable", and I hope she doesn't become discouraged. She has such a pretty voice. She has not been as dedicated to dance as I would like, but she knows the dances. I can't worry about it. I'm not the one on stage.
Jake is obsessed with his girlfriend, Caitlyn. He eats, breathes, sleeps Caitlyn. He is texting her, talking on the phone with her, or Skype-ing her almost every waking moment of the day. When he isn't talking to her, he sits in his room, or sleeps. He has zero ambition, which I suppose is normal for a 16-year-old boy. What worries me is that his down time is oppressive. What I mean is, if you walk into his room when he isn't talking to Caitlyn, he is withdrawn, depressed, and you can detect an atmosphere that I can only describe as hopeless. He has no friends to speak of, and no hobbies, no job, and getting him to take care of chores around the house is difficult, at best. He doesn't even join us in the family room to watch tv anymore. It is like he has made a full time career out of isolating himself from everyone, except Caitlyn. I worry because it appears that he has become even more "needy" for her attention. Although he has been getting some help for the depression, I would like to see more improvement. I would like him to be truly happy again. I don't really see that anymore. Trouble is, he doesn't like to take the meds because he doesn't think they will help, and he doesn't want to depend on them. I wish I could make him understand that we're trying to help him, not hurt him.
I am still seeing a counselor and taking meds myself, and some days are great; some days it's all I can do to get out of bed and face humanity. I have been trying to focus on the things I am good at, and that I enjoy...writing, teaching dance, cooking...but it is clear that I will need to get a job soon. Found out yesterday that they broke ground on the Sun Center movie studio in Chester. I would love, love, love to get a job there, even if only secretarial. Close to home, too. I threw out my back over a month ago, and I am still limping around like an old lady, so that isn't helping my outlook, either. But that, too, is curable. I have been spending my inside days cleaning up clutter and being with the dog, but even she is feeling a bit ill these days. Not sure what is wrong with her, but something is definitely wrong. I hope she gets well soon. Poor thing.
Recital weekend will be here soon, and I will be running at full tilt for a few days. Those are the days when I don't have time to think, and I fall into bed exhausted. The good stuff. I am surrounded by a bunch of great people and it's fun, and exciting, and busy. I only hope I can get through it without any major catastrophes (meaning, feeling guilty about something I said or did).
So this is where I am, trying to think of plan for this impending Summer of 2010. My options are limitless. I only hope I don't disappoint myself. Baby steps. Time to start walking.
d.
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